itsonlyrain

Sometimes, I think you forgot me. To admit it, most days I've forgotten you, too. But sometimes a moment comes along that feels like you in my bones, and suddenly you're crashing through my veins, riding my pulse straight to my heart. And you sit in my chest, heavy and unwelcome, and it's hard to breathe because I cannot shut off the reel of memories playing in my head. So I close my eyes and count to ten, breathe evenly and steadily, tell myself that you are miles and years away. But I wake up the next morning with a dry taste in my mouth and a hollowness somewhere in the pit of my stomach and you're hanging onto me like a shadow even thoug

This is what I cannot understand. There is an understanding that nothing is ever black and white. Good can be achieved through bad means, what's wrong can sometimes be right, and if you turn right for long enough, you eventually go left. Boys can be girls who fall in love with girls who sometimes think they are boys and the lines between everything end up irreversibly blurred. Or so I've always thought. But this is a line that cannot be blurred. This is the only remaining clear-cut line that separates black from white as perfectly as a color wheel. And that is the fact that everything is until it isn't. We are until we aren't. We breathe u

i. these are the secrets we keep pressed against the skin of your thighs and the confessions we dare not release past the even rhythm of our pulses; this is everything our tongues keep to themselves beyond the angles of lopsided secret smiles ii. these are the badges of honor we keep tucked on the insides of our collars and in the rolls of our sleeves; this is the faintest touch of my teeth leaving their mark on your clavicle and the excuses we make when our distinctions are discovered iii. these are the memories we whisper to ourselves in stairwells and private moments during the car ride home; this is you closing your eyes an